Sunday, July 20, 2008

Standing at the Cross roads

Love, because of love; every possibility, every emotion must be must be weighed in the balance. What is best for me, no longer exist. The only thing that matters is what is best for this slick vamp that you warned me about. I have searched every corner of her heart, and found not a single cold spot. I'm not saying she did not give off that impression. For a time you even had me believing it too, but I was wrong, and so are you. Perhaps the workings of her mind is a little too complex for most folks to comprehend. She has a mind that is always on the move, with a never ending hunger for new ideas, and experiences. Thus making her seem all the more distant and aloof; When in reality she has a very warm and gracious heart. I'm 55 people!
A young woman her age is on the periphery, of what I feel is reasonable. I may still climb mountains, and run like a deer, but nothing last forever! What kind of man would I be for her in 20 years from now?
Yet deep in my heart, I know that all it would take is just one look, and she would never leave my side.
All these things, and more I have to consider, this is not a pleasant task to look atone's self in such a critical fashion. The more noble of the few options I have, are the least desirable. What is best for the one I love, is all that counts, and despite the fire and passion, of my enduring adoration.
I could deliberate over this for weeks, and the answer will always be the same. I don't have the authority to make the final decision, it takes us both, but because we think so much alike, I believe the final decision is only a formality. It is cutting me deep, perhaps it was best that she took away my freedom of speech, thus keeping me bound to the keyboard, I think the sound of me coming to life on the phone, was more than she could handle, I know all too well how my voice can heat up a woman's passion, she was only protecting herself. Alas I had no choice but to be understanding. She was so entertaining to talk with, and I really miss the sound of her voice. So this may well be my last post for a long while, as I will soon have to deal with the bitter pain of reality. I'm not a defeatist nor a martyr, I am just the best Friend and lover, that she will ever know. Sometimes the only way, is to give up the very person that you love the most. Oh I will recover, this has been a love of the mind only. She was wise enough to avoid any real physical contact with me, but I know her mind very well, and she knows me better than all of you bloggers put together.

If I could live out just one dream, I would come galloping up on my black stallion, leaping from the saddle, I would scoop up the fair damsel in my arms throwing the squirming beauty over my shoulder, jump back up on the beast, and go thundering off into the cool moonlit night. And we would live happily ever after.
Only in dreams.

Friday, July 18, 2008


I used to say I write whatever pleases me. Alas to qualify that statement, I'd have to find something that I've written I'm pleased with. There is no such thing. Screwing with peoples minds is only gratifying when I have something useful about life to teach. And I'm never going to get this bunch to think outside the box. They think abstract is just for painters. All abstract philosophical ideas seem to just go out the window. The world cares little about the intrinsic nature of things. Just turn on the TV god, and we will have a ball! Keep an animal in a small box like this for too long and he will be a lot more than just terminally abstract. I think I scare some people, I really do.

Time to dump my old style of writing, and only Caren has passed the test, anyway she knows what a pain I can be. I am older than most blogger, But one thing I'm not, is a baggy pants grand paw. A tuxcedo is about as grandpaw as I get

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Healing Power of Unconditional Love

"Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships. There is nothing more fulfilling and satisfying in life than the act of loving and being loved. It is the most profound experience we can have. Love is essential for our mental and physical well-being. It is essential for our survival. Love is more than just a feeling, it is a whole body experience and it has a physiological effect on the body. Have you ever noticed how much better you feel physically and how your mood improves when you receive a hug or affection from someone who loves you or when you have expressed your love to someone or participate in an act of love?
Loving and being loved actually improves our level of health.
I have witnessed this truth in my own life over and over. Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing. If a new drug had the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be recommending it for their patients. It would be malpractice not to prescribe it, yet, we do not learn much about the healing power of love, intimacy, and transformation in our lives. There is a deep spiritual hunger in this country. The real epidemic in our culture is not only physical heart disease, but also what I call emotional and spiritual heart disease that is, the profound sense of loneliness, isolation, alienation, and depression that are so prevalent in our culture with the breakdown of the social structures that used to provide us with a sense of connection and community. It is, to me, a root of the illness, cynicism, and violence in our society".

"In my view, being happy and unconditionally loving to yourself and others is the same as loving G-d. If I decided to really take G-d into my heart, to love G-d, what would my consciousness be like? I think I would be accepting and non-judgmental of myself and everyone else. I would just love unconditionally.

"There's a wonderful story which illustrated that. In one part of the Old Testament that was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls, there's a different version of Moses receiving the ten commandments from G-d than the one we're accustomed to. In this translation, G-d says to Moses on Mount Sinai, if you take me into your heart, this is what will happen: you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not commit adultery, you shall honor your mother and father, and so on. They weren't commandments at all, but descriptions of how a person would be if he truly took G-d into his heart. And that's the way we are when we unconditionally love ourselves and others."

Barry Neil Kaufman. Autism Treatment Center of America

Sunday, July 13, 2008

It is good to feel good

Welcome back my friends.

What can I say? Since I was a child; I've been gifted with powers I don't really understand. To peer into the hearts of men, and see the good and evil that lies within. To see future events unfold in dreams and visions. About 4:45 A.M. local time on September 5 1972 I awoke in my barracks after experiencing such a terrible dream! Men with guns were running about, and killing Jews. Some of the Jews tried to flee, they shot at them as they ran. It was so real, and I could tell these men were not Nazis. Little did I know what was taking place just a few miles up the road, it was too late to do any good. Sometimes I get some advanced warning, one minute past midnight on the morning of 9/11. I made the casual remark, that the Arabs were getting ready to attack us. I knew nothing more, the information was useless. I went home to my bed, only to wake up to a nightmare born out of hell. There is much more, but I have said more than I feel comfortable with. Like times when I had to deal with spirits of the dead. Why me of all people? Sometimes I often wonder. The people I try to help, many times have no clue, as to what I am doing in their lives, and knowing when someone is in need, has cost me plenty over the years, but I still try to do my very best.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


From out of the blue, preternatural love came to town! Never in my lifetime have I experienced so complete and deep a love. Who would feel that way about me, and why? I tend to forget that there are some people who have yet to experience love and other emotions from a remote source. At times I can feel the emotions of others remotely, including hate so strong it made the hair on my neck stand up. I'd rather take on love any day.

Someone, somewhere, loves me very deeply, it may not be a blogger, and there are so many people in my life, but I can feel it, so strong from the top of my head to the tip of my toes! Their love is flowing through my body like bubbling effervescent electricity. Oh, it feels sooo good, even better than sex, but oh man, would it really be good. Wow, I really hope this is a woman! Because, this is no little baby love. Whoever has locked in on my heart, with these wonderful love vibes, is pumping from a mighty deep well. This profusion of adoration makes me feel so vivacious, and high. I often find myself smiling for no reason at all. I love it, and I want more, all I can say is come on out, and let this love draw you closer to me. Sweetheart, you will never be content until you close the gap. So do it! Crossover on the invincible bridge that love has built, take me gently by the hand, and share all of your passionate thoughts with this lone abased phantom of the Internet.

If I could bottle this stuff, I'd make millions!

It just hit me, I think I know, since last December. I've been using the power of the mind to send her my most sincere thoughts of love, hoping it would help to calm down a dear friend, who was suffering a little anxiety about her age. I know, because I did the very same. At 31, I got in a rush, and married the wrong girl. Lost the farm and everything but my truck. It could be that my friend has learned how to use the power of love, if this is so she is far superior to anyone I've ever encountered. We must be having a long distance love war, and she is kicking my ass!
Oh, kick it baby kick it!

'Qui non intelligit aut discat aut taceat'


A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

I feel so good, please stay crazy, whoever you are..

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Experience With Apraxia

I said to a dear heart, just the other day, while I was in the midst of having one of my royal tantrums. That I was going to quit blogging, but I'm not a young spoiled prince anymore, I should have known better. I am the friggin King! and I can never retire as long as my people are in need. At least my royal blog mother Caren, will come and poke me with a ten foot pole, every now and then. As far as I know, I'm her only, bad-actor child.
Ahh, to be, or not to be.
I seem odd, only because I chose to write odd things, I like to set the pace, not follow it. I never was a writer, but this much I can tell you.
The moment a writer begins a story, all the universe is his. He becomes a god unto himself, and all creation flows from is pen. A sovereign without limitations, except in the writers own imagination. All things are possible to those that dare! Be bold, be brave, and keep an open heart. My brothers and sisters; there is no one quite like me, and there is no one quite like you! Strive to be humble with others, but believe in the uniqueness of yourself, always.

"Many kids with apraxia benefit from a gluten free diet, although Angle did not. Also, many kids benefit from the omega-3 oils, like Pro-EFA, which is available through Nordic Naturals. It comes in capsule form, which some kids will chew on to get the oil out, although you can just as easily puncture the capsule and add the oil to something like applesauce. It also comes in a liquid form. Neither of these have any soy or gluten products in them that I can see. They have fish oil, borage oil (which is important), lemon flavor, d-alpha tocopherol (vitamin E) and rosemary. It's not the vitamin E that's the most important component, it's the fish oil and borage oil." Miracles in Communication

"Dr. Agin is the foremost authority on apraxia in the country right now. She has a book out called "The Late Talker." If they don't have this book, they need to buy it. She's located in NY. Angel's doctor, Dr. Laveman, is a colleague of Dr. Agin and is the co-medical director with her of the Cherab organization -"

She should check out that site and read every single piece of info there. Another good site is:

"It is absolutely imperative that they see a neurodevelopmental pediatrician who has specific knowledge and experience with apraxia. Children are often misdiagnosed as mentally retarded or autistic when they're really apraxic. It's also imperative that this woman learn every last detail of the disability. I always joke that I'm the Rain Man of apraxia info, but as a parent, it is my responsibility to be armed with every single piece of information available to me in order to best advocate for my child. It is absolutely the most important thing you can do. And you have to be a strong, vocal advocate for your child, especially in the school system. Don't just accept what they tell you. You have to arm your self with as much knowledge about what your child is entitled to by law as you can. our district tried to tell me that Angel didn't need speech 5 times a week, that 2 or 3 was sufficient. Nope, sorry. They did this because the therapist in her building is part time and couldn't fit in 5 sessions. Too bad. Now they have to pay for a therapist to come to the house twice a week so that she gets all 5 sessions."

"The most important thing a parent can do is learn every last detail about the disability and all of its ramifications. Then take that knowledge and be a strong, vocal advocate for your child. Will people like that? No. But unless you are the squeaky wheel, your child will get no grease. It's not about whether they like me or not. It's about making sure my child gets every tool available to help her be able to lead a relatively normal life in the future. She can't do that for herself right now, so it's up to me."

Hope this helps,


Monday, July 07, 2008

Love Music

I have not seen a party this good since 1984. What happened to you people?

Fiddler On The Roof

I will keep adding songs here until I get a Lucky 21.

(1) Trinkt le Chaim.

(2) Love Can Make You Happy

(3) For The First Time

(4) Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

(5) We've only just begun

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Love Music

So many people think they know what love is, and yet they don't even have a clue. There is a love power, so immense it is beyond the imagination! It is much more than fathomless ecstasy. This marvellous river of pure love, also has vast comprehensive healing powers. But few ever find it, or know where to seek out a master teacher.

"From the beginning, love of man was the adhesive that connected the people of Israel. For as long as we kept it, we thrived and prospered. But when unfounded hatred prevailed, we declined to ruin and exile. Today, as the people of Israel are at a crucial junction, we need love of man like air. Gladly, the great Kabbalists adapted the wisdom of Kabbalah—the method that teaches how to reach love of man—to our generation."

(11) I wanna know what love is!

(12) Can't Help Falling In Love With You

(13) Color me badd - forever love

(14) There I've Said It Again

(15) Anne Murray Dusty Springfield

(16) Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye

(17) Shania Twain You're still the one

(18) From This Moment On

(19) It's In The Way You Love Me

(20) Close Your Eyes Give Me Your Hand

(21) Speak Softly Love (21)